


Gathered from the Gales

by the_rck



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Cold, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Consensual Kink, Dom Nagi, Drug Use, Fictional drugs, Gags, Grooming, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Precognition, Psychological Trauma, Renegotiation, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Under-negotiated Kink, conflicted feelings, post-Gluhen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-08 23:09:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12875019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_rck/pseuds/the_rck
Summary: Crawford had said 'mutually beneficial' and 'stress relief' and 'no strings' when he suggested it, so Nagi expected a single night of play. Nagi should have remembered that Crawford lies and does what he needs to in order to achieve the future he wants. Or the future he needs.





	Gathered from the Gales

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HopeofDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeofDawn/gifts).



> Thanks to Muccamukk for beta reading.
> 
> HopeofDawn, I'm sorry you had to wait so many years for this one. I'm also not sure I got the everybody has a really good time part. I think that part's still in their future.
> 
> Pre-existing Crawford/Schuldig. References to Nagi/Tot and Nagi/Mamoru. Implied Nagi/OCs.
> 
> Specific and vague references to past non-con/rape of Crawford and Schuldig while they worked for Rosenkreuz and Estet. Ages aren't specified, but I'm assuming that that didn't start until they were in their late teens.

"Stop." Nagi tightened a telekinetic loop around Schuldig's balls and tugged them down, effectively preventing his orgasm. "I told you not to come," Nagi added calmly as Schuldig swore and dug his fingers into Crawford's hips. Nagi met Schuldig's glare without flinching.

Finally, Schuldig looked away. Nagi smiled. He flicked his fingers, giving Schuldig just the slightest nudge with his power to indicate the direction he should move. Nagi focused his attention on Crawford. "At least somebody is being good."

A tremor not quite large enough to be called a shudder passed through Crawford's body as Schuldig pulled his cock from Crawford's ass. Crawford bit his lip and kept his hands firmly planted on the floor.

"Good." Nagi offered praise for obedience. _Not good. The point is to make him lose control. No. To_ give _it to me. Really give it. I need to take him beyond obedience._ He rubbed his hand against his crotch and beckoned Crawford closer.

Crawford licked his lips and began to crawl.

 _//What about me?//_ Schuldig's mental voice carried a more pathetic whine than he could manage out loud.

Nagi spared Schuldig a glance. "What about you? This isn't about you." _//Although, if you want my attention, I can keep you... occupied. I could do anything to you, and he wouldn't try to protect you.//_ Schuldig's sudden stillness was a palpable presence in Nagi's mind. _//You can still leave if you want to. I won't stop you. He'll be disappointed, but you've disappointed him before.//_ "Staying means submission. Full submission."

Crawford reached Nagi's feet and looked up.

Nagi shifted in his chair. _His eyes look softer without the glasses._ He ran a finger along the outer half of one of Crawford's eyebrows then down the side of his face. "You feel empty now, don't you?"

Crawford nodded and licked his lips again.

"And you think I should reward your obedience?" Nagi put the slightest warning emphasis on the word 'reward.'

Crawford's slight flinch left Nagi certain that he'd heard the warning, but he nodded anyway. "Please." He pushed between Nagi's legs.

For a second, Nagi wanted nothing more than to open his fly and fuck Crawford's mouth. _It would feel so good._ He set his jaw. _Too soon._ A second later, he had Crawford flat on his back on the floor. Nagi put his still shod foot on Crawford's throat. "Did I say you could do that?" _Is this what you were hoping for, Crawford? I rather think it was._

Crawford's eyes were wide, and his breath came raggedly. He shook his head minutely.

Nagi applied just the slightest pressure. "I didn't hear you." _//Take your hands off your cock, Schuldig. If they're still there when I look up, I'll tie them behind you.//_

"No. No, you didn't." Crawford didn't meet Nagi's eyes.

"That was what _you_ wanted, wasn't it?" Nagi lifted his foot. He frowned down at Crawford. Then he went down on one knee and buried a hand in Crawford's hair to force Crawford to look at him. "You asked me, offered yourself to me. On _my_ terms. If you want to top from the bottom, you'll have to find someone else to play with." He made 'play' an insult.

Nagi looked at Schuldig. _Hands at his sides. Good._ "Get my suitcase, Schuldig."

Schuldig stared at him, obviously wondering why he didn't fetch the suitcase telekinetically.

Nagi used telekinesis to smack Schuldig's ass hard. _//Because I'm telling you to.//_

When Schuldig yelped, Crawford's body jerked, and he tried to turn his head to look.

"No," Nagi told Crawford. "Look at me. What's happening over there doesn't matter unless I tell you it does. You've given that to me, too. If I hurt him, that's part of what you chose." Nagi lowered his voice a little. "And he could leave. If he wanted. He just wants to fuck you again and maybe to hurt you. If I let him. I might. If it pleases me to. You'll accept that, won't you?" He ran his free hand over Crawford's chest.

Crawford's breath hitched.

Nagi heard Schuldig coming back and cursing the weight of the suitcase under his breath. _//I wasn't going to trust any of_ your _toys,//_ he told Schuldig brusquely. _//You probably haven't cleaned them since the last time you killed somebody. I don't want any of us catching something nasty.//_

"Keep looking at me." Nagi tightened his grip on Crawford's hair. "I'm going to give you a few choices, genuine choices about how we're going to test your resolve. If you reject all of them, I'll leave. You won't get another chance. Not with me. Not ever." He wanted to stroke Crawford again, but he didn't dare. _This decision, he has to make without... influence._

Crawford's eyes darted sideways. "Tell me."

 _Trying to tell where Schuldig is._ Nagi smacked the side of Crawford's head, just sharply enough to make a point. "No orders from you. Not here, not unless you want me to leave. Do you even know how to submit?" Nagi let doubt creep into his voice. _He does. He crawled to the Elders for years. If he wants to crawl, why did he bother to get rid of them?_

Nagi hadn't bothered to mask the thought, so he wasn't surprised when Schuldig commented. _//There's a difference between choosing and being forced. And you're a lot prettier than the geezers.//_

Nagi nodded minutely. _//I know, but he seems to want to be forced.//_ He wasn't sure he trusted Schuldig on this, but Schuldig did have a profound understanding of Crawford's psyche.

 _//He wants to know if you're strong enough to do it. Force him. Hurt him badly so he can't pretend it's under his control. Then he'll be yours.//_ Bitterness tainted Schuldig's mental voice. _//He won't let me do it.//_

 _That would be suicide._ Nagi was sure Schuldig knew that, so he didn't bother to say it.

"Please," Crawford said. "Please tell me. I want to choose."

"First," Nagi said, "we let Schuldig play with you. I'd rein him in, and he'd use my toys, but he'd make the choices. Afterward, I'd fuck you. The test is bearing it without protesting. Crying, screaming and reacting would please me. The test is also pleasing me afterward. I don't want to be bored or treated as an afterthought. If you can't please me, this is pointless."

Crawford's breathing speeded up, and a glance showed that his cock had hardened further.

 _You like that one. Good. So do I. Of course, I like all of them._ "Second, we start with accecaretin, an eight hour dose. You'd have your eyesight back completely in two days. I choose the... stimuli. You please me by enduring, by thanking me, by coming as often as you can. I'll see how strong your resolve is, when you start begging." He didn't bother telling Crawford that begging wouldn't mean easing, not unless Nagi was ready to stop anyway. _If he doesn't know that already, he has no business being here._ "I'll fuck you when I want to. Probably more than once. Schuldig will, too. I'll probably let him play with you a bit. He wants to so badly." Nagi smiled. _He likes that, too._

"Third, we put a collar and leash on you, maybe a little other bondage gear if I think it makes you pretty, and take you out for the night. Schuldig will cloud minds a little so that no one makes a fuss, but I'll offer you to anyone who shows interest. I know where Abyssinian and Siberian are tonight. They'd both enjoy fucking you, especially if it hurt you. We'd find out how much they know about erotic torture, and I'd use Schuldig to get my own relief. You'd allow all of that for me, wouldn't you?" _He doesn't like that one so much. Pity. I do. Some other night. Assuming this test works. If he really submits, he'll do it because I want it._

Nagi stood up. "Kneel while you think about it. You have ten minutes to decide. Or to walk." He turned away. _If he needs me to watch him, this won't work. Not at all. I hope it works. I want to fuck him. Should that disturb me...?_ He looked back, just for a second. _It's not like he's my father._ "Pour me a drink, Schuldig. Something I can savor-- Brandy, I think. I'm sure Crawford only has the best."

Schuldig didn't even try to pour a glass for himself. Nagi accepted the snifter and the small gesture of submission without acknowledging either. Instead, he studied Schuldig. "You want him very badly." _You want him like this very, very badly._ He swirled the brandy in the glass, more interested in it as a prop than as a drink.

 _//I want him alive more than I want to fuck him.//_ Schuldig walked over to a window to look down and out over the city. The darkness outside reflected his image back. He touched the glass twice, sharply, as if trying to put out his reflection's eyes.

 _//Some time, when he's not around, we need to talk. Set our own terms.//_ Nagi allowed no hint of pity in his telepathic voice or his surface thoughts. _//You don't need the same things he does.//_

Schuldig growled. _//I need to find and kill the bastards who made us. Repeatedly.//_ He didn't turn to look at Nagi.

 _Of course, he can see me in the window._ Nagi inhaled the fumes from the brandy, trying to decide if he really wanted to drink it. _//They made me, too.//_

 _//No._ He _made you. For this. He knew he'd-- we'd-- need you.//_ "I wish we had brought chaos to the face of the earth, had made ourselves kings." Schuldig snorted. "Imagine Farfarello a king! Or me--"

Nagi didn’t want to look at the part about Crawford, so he focused on Schuldig and just managed to stop his fist from hitting the glass. He held Schuldig's wrist telekinetically. "I think we'll leave the window intact," he said gently. "It's cold out there, very cold, and I'd rather not have to take you to the hospital." _I hadn’t realized he regretted that. What else does he regret?_ He hid the thought as thoroughly as he could.

Schuldig laughed. "I couldn't break it any more than I can break this--" He tugged against Nagi's invisible hold.

"I think you'll find it's not made of such strong stuff, after all." Nagi knew they weren't talking about the glass any longer. "Or maybe you're underestimating your own strength." _Estet didn't break you, but something’s got you near it now._ He kept that thought, too, very carefully shielded. _He doesn’t need to know that I see it. He already knows-- or should-- that I care._

"Everything breaks too easily." Schuldig let his arm drop to his side. His hands clenched into fists. _//I like breaking things. Except... Then they're gone. //_

 _//I won't let you break him.//_ Nagi put a hand on Schuldig's back. _//Can you trust me for that?//_ He closed his eyes for a moment then stared out the window. _I should have known, should have guessed._

"He's decided." Schuldig shrugged. _//He's not ready to trust me. Not even with you here.//_

Nagi nodded then sipped his drink. "How wonderful for him." He kept the statement utterly flat. He offered Schuldig a shadow of a smile. "We're not done with our conversation." _//Let him wait. I said ten minutes, and I meant it. He has time to consider and to reconsider.//_

Schuldig turned to look at Crawford. "I don't think there's anything to say." _//He spoke for both of us.//_

Nagi allowed himself a sigh. _Which means he’s as fucked up as-- possibly more than-- you are._ He wanted to touch Schuldig but knew that, at the current moment, he couldn't do it without being sexual. _And that would make things worse. Were they this bad ten years ago and I just didn’t see it? Well, I wouldn’t. Fifteen year olds are not noted for being observant. I just thought they were powerful and hot as hell._ "You're here. You're making choices." _//You're not Crawford, and you're not his puppet. If you're going to be here, it has to be because you want to be. Not because he does. Not because I do.//_ Nagi let both his lust and his genuine affection for Schuldig into his mental voice.

Schuldig shrugged as if a biting insect had settled on his back. Then he snorted, and his mental voice dripped bitterness. _//I don't want him to have to choose.//_ A moment later, the mental contact between them carried a returned sense of affection. _//You’re you, so I won’t want to kill you after.//_

 _But you don't really trust me yet, not to keep you in control, not to take care of him. The fact that_ he _doesn't trust me that much doesn't help._ Nagi looked out the window and tried not to wonder if Crawford actually wanted him as himself or if any Dom that Schuldig didn’t hate would do. _//I don't think he could choose.//_ Nagi kept his mental voice even. _//If he didn't love you, he'd have let you die a long time ago.//_ The idea that Crawford was using him hurt enough that Nagi pushed it aside. _But it would be very… Crawford._

Schuldig jerked at the word 'love' and turned to stare at Nagi. His eyes were wide.

Nagi growled. "Moron." He shoved his brandy into Schuldig's hand, supporting it telekinetically until Schuldig's grasp tightened. _//Drink it. Get stinking drunk if you need to. You don't want to be here, not like this. Think about how you might actually enjoy it. When you figure it out, let me know.//_ "Don't kill anyone tonight, Schuldig. That would be a distraction."

Nagi made himself stroll over to Crawford and didn't allow himself to look back. "You're a manipulative fuck, Brad," he said in a conversational tone.

Crawford looked up at Nagi's words. His eyes widened. He bowed his head.

"Not right now." Nagi used telekinesis to lift Crawford's chin and hold it. "You don't deserve him." He leaned down to speak directly into Crawford's ear. "I'm not at all sure you deserve _me_ , but you sure as hell don't deserve him."

Crawford flinched then leaned into Nagi's telekinetic grip.

"Nagi--" Schuldig's voice cracked. When Nagi looked at him, Schuldig shook his head. _//He_ needs _this, and I need him. Really. Please.//_

"That's not enough." Nagi couldn't keep the anger out of his voice. _Better that than the hurt showing._

_//Please, Nagi.//_

Nagi knew that Schuldig could point out the many ways in which he and Crawford had protected Nagi and helped him to where he was today. That Schuldig didn’t was both a relief and a sign that Schuldig still knew him. Nagi wasn’t sure, but he thought that that would have pushed him to leave. _Because it would make it all a lie. And it wouldn’t. They didn’t destroy Estet for me, but I-- more than benefited. They could have abandoned me, after, and they didn’t._

Nagi nodded. _//I'm not giving up on him. This has to be on_ my _terms. Not his. Not yours. I can be brutal and still fail to catch him.//_ "Brad can give me as much of himself as he wants." He sneered a little, aiming that at Crawford. "A trivial amount seems to be all he thinks I'm worth, after all, so it's no loss to him. He is _not_ allowed to give me you, to make bargains for you, to make promises for you." He prodded Crawford with the toe of his shoe without bothering to look at him. "You owe Schuldig an apology. Make it abject enough, and I'll consider his opinion when I decide what happens next." He set his jaw and tried not to think about how much he'd wanted this evening to be perfect. _This isn't about once, is it?_

 _//No.//_ Schuldig's mental voice was surprisingly gentle. _//It's about forever. You aren't supposed to figure that out until it's too late for you to give us up.//_

Nagi clenched the hand that Crawford couldn't see into a fist. _I wanted to fuck him. I wanted to mark him. I wanted to own him for the night, for a few nights, for-- //Forever is a very long time. I'm not sure I have that to give.//_

_//Then we'll die.//_

_//Everybody dies.//_ Nagi didn't want to think about forever or about the ache in his gut at the idea of the world without Schuldig, without Crawford. Nagi would go on. _Somehow._

 _//Soon. One of us will kill the other. I don't think we have more than a year. He hides those visions from me. Well, he thinks he does.//_ "It really would have been easier if we'd taken over the world." Schuldig refilled the snifter. "We could have had _anything_. I wanted everything." He looked wistful.

"You'd only have broken it." Crawford's voice was hoarse and barely carried to the end of the sentence. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Schuldig. This was a bad idea."

Schuldig laughed and emptied his glass.

"No," Nagi said. "The idea's not bad.” _It is. It’s terrible. No._ He made himself really look at the implications. _I could. I fantasized about it-- Yes. When I didn’t understand what it meant._ “The execution, however...that's lousy." He put his hand on Crawford's head. "I expected better. I trusted you." _I shouldn’t have. I wanted to. Because I could once. With my life and more._ He removed his hand, stepped away, and returned to the chair he had used earlier. "If I can't trust you, that changes the situation completely."

Schuldig laughed again. "That's why you owe me, Brad. You're the boss. You can't go halfway on not being in charge." _//We will love you if you’ll have us. If not--//_

Nagi studied Schuldig. _He's doing even less well than I thought if he’s promising me that._ He glanced at Crawford. _Yes. He sees it, too. Are you done trying to play me or thinking with your cock or whatever the hell you were doing, Crawford?_ He met Crawford's eyes and held them. "I'm capable of killing you both, you know. You couldn't stop me. Schuldig could probably force me to do it fast, but he couldn't stop me. You also owe him an apology for that. You're gambling with all three of us."

"I don't gamble." Crawford's spine was utterly straight.

This time, Nagi laughed.

"Even I don't believe that," Schuldig said, "and I love you. You can't expect Nagi to fall for it." He set down his glass on the windowsill, holding it in place for a second before letting it go. _//He doesn’t see it harming you-- or us-- There’s that at least.//_ He sounded as if he knew that was weak as far as temptations went.

Nagi wished he could see what was going on in Crawford's head. _I should have known it wouldn't be as easy as he made it sound. 'Stress relief.' 'No strings.' 'Mutually beneficial.' Bullshit. If I wasn’t-- They’ve had me on the hook forever, haven’t they?_ "The reason I'm not demanding that you apologize to me, Brad, is that I really do know better." He let disappointment fill his words. _//If it weren't for you, Schuldig, I'd walk now, you know. No. I wouldn't. I'd take away his choices. For good. I'd make him love me and hate me, see only me. If he made me, he also made that.//_ Nagi wondered briefly if Crawford had meant to make him then pushed it aside as not currently relevant.

 _//He wants that. He thinks he doesn't, but he does. Even if the cost is me but only just barely.//_ Schuldig's mental laughter had an hysterical tinge. _//He loves me enough to_ want _to want to put me first. He meant to give you a few more years, time to get harder. Time for him, too, to figure out how to take care of me when he can't--//_

"Schuldig." Nagi wasn't going to let Schuldig spiral any lower. It hurt them all too much. _Even me._ "Put on your clothes." He pointedly didn't look at Crawford. "We're going to have a talk. Brad belongs to you, so you set the terms." _//You, not him.//_ He pulled his case of toys next to his chair and flipped it open without touching it. He selected a ball gag and floated it over to Crawford. "Put it in. If Schuldig thinks we need your thoughts, he'll take them." He met Crawford's eyes, knowing this was a decision point. He kept his face expressionless. _I still want to trust them both. I know better, but I want to._

Crawford took the gag in one hand. His eyes unfocused in the way that meant he was seeking a vision. He turned the gag over in his hands, running the straps through his fingers.

 _Does he do anything without double and triple checking?_ Nagi tried not to let the fact that he, too, was waiting for what Crawford's vision might reveal show on his face or in his posture. _I need to be more sure than that._ He used his hands to retrieve the smaller case that contained the drugs he'd brought.

Schuldig wandered over, his shirt hanging over one arm as he fastened his trousers. "How is it you still have an Estet interrogation kit?" He sounded vaguely accusing.

"I'm affiliated with a competent organization." Calling Kritiker competent was exaggeration, but they did have good labs. "I like a steady paycheck." _//And I have a reasonable understanding with my...supervisor. He knows he needs me more than I need him.//_

Schuldig made a noncommittal noise. _//Are you fucking him? Brad said you might be.//_

 _//Sometimes.//_ Nagi offered the case to Schuldig. "Your choice." _//You should consider that. If I'm permanent, you're connected with my employer.//_ He left the 'who doesn't like you' part of the statement unsaid.

Schuldig looked down, hesitated, then met Nagi's eyes. _//It depends on what you want. Do you think you'll... Will you bring him into this? He'd probably like to hurt us.//_ He licked his lips. "That one." _//They liked to use that one. It made little things ever so much bigger. Brad will remember.//_

Crawford's breath hitched audibly. Nagi turned to look at him and saw that he'd gone rigid. Nagi turned to Schuldig and raised his eyebrows.

Schuldig didn't see. He had turned to stare at Crawford. His face had gone pale.

"Schuldig?" Nagi touched his arm. _//Schuldig-- Tell me. What is he seeing?//_

Schuldig shuddered then gave Nagi his attention. He forced a smile, but Nagi could see that it cost him. _//Brad likes it, but I--//_ He shook himself, dislodging Nagi's hand. _//It doesn't end. If he-- If I-- If we choose this, it goes on and on. He's seeing flashes of a lot of different times stretching a long way into the future. I knew-- he knew-- that you could be cruel, but he's seeing how bad it could be.//_ Schuldig's hands shook as he covered his face. _//How very, very good it could be, really. He thought he could keep control. Even when he_ said _he was giving it to you, even then, he thought-- Well. He thought about the good parts, the parts that turn him on.//_

Nagi put his hands over Schuldig's and pulled them down so that he could see Schuldig's face. "It is, to some extent, about what turns you on." He hesitated then added, "Or is it not just sex?" _Am I ready to have this be more than sex? Do I have a choice? Do I_ want _a choice?_

Schuldig's smile was bitter. "You can't have us working for the wrong people, and we would. It will start out sex and become... more. This isn't going to be sometimes. Either we belong to you, or we don't. Brad sees you becoming the center of his world. Assuming he doesn't fuck it up. Assuming _I_ don't fuck it up."

Nagi traced a finger along the side of Schuldig's face. "You still want to rule the world."

Schuldig laughed without humor. "Bits of it, at least. I want someone to crawl to me. I don't want to crawl to anyone. I just don't have a choice, and it's better you than someone else."

"How many people have you killed in the last six months?"

"You mean not for business? Only one. Brad can keep me from killing when he wants to. Mostly, he wants to."

Nagi considered that. "Interesting that you need that and he doesn't."

"He just puts it all into work." 

Nagi was sure that wasn’t the whole truth, but he guessed he was going to have to get that in small pieces.

Schuldig pulled away, and Nagi let him go. Schuldig turned to look at Crawford. "It's almost done. When the vision is that strong, he's disoriented for a while after. He probably won't recognize us." _//He'll still know that he's got a choice and what will come of it either way. He'll fight again later, but for now, he'll surrender. It's what he wants.//_

Nagi exhaled heavily. "I can probably give you what you want more easily than I can give him what he wants." It wasn’t true, and he was pretty sure both of them knew it. He wanted the fantasy version of what Crawford was offering, but he was old enough to know that it wouldn’t be like that.

Schuldig laughed again, this time with more humor. "You can help me rule the world?"

Nagi smiled. "Probably not. But I can give you limits and space to play." _//Eventually, Kritiker will be mine. Takatori can't keep up with it and the rest of the family empire. He knows it, too. He just can't bear to give it up yet. You can have a place there if you want.//_ It wasn’t quite a promise, more a statement of a negotiating position. "Do you want more booze?"

Schuldig walked over to the window again. "I haven't eaten anything in hours." _//I just want to fucking get off. One way or another. In Brad's ass or my own hand. I don't care.//_ He leaned his head against the glass. "He'll be back any second now."

Nagi turned to look at Crawford just in time to see him sag forward until his nose almost touched his knees. Crawford shuddered once then went still. After a few seconds, he pushed himself upright. His eyes settled on the ball gag, and he frowned. He raised his head and looked around. His eyes settled on Nagi and an expression half terror, half adoration flickered across his face. He licked his lips and lowered his eyes. "Anything," he said. "Anything you want. For you." He raised the gag and started trying to put it on.

Nagi assisted telekinetically, but he was only giving Crawford half of his attention. _//Schuldig?//_

_//He means it. There's nothing you could do now, including dragging him out to be fucked by other people, including letting me play with him, that he doesn't consent to. You could kill him, and he wouldn't resist as long he thought you wanted it.//_

Nagi felt a little sick. _That doesn't sound like Crawford. I want_ Crawford _. I want him to hate it but do it anyway because it's what I want._

 _//It won't last. If you give him time to think, he'll remember who he is.//_ Schuldig turned back to look at Nagi. _//He has too much pride to revoke his consent, though. If it were me, I'd take advantage.//_

Nagi raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to fuck him right now?"

Schuldig clenched his hands. "Will you let me finish this time?"

"I'm not sure I have the right to tell you either way." Nagi walked over to a chair and sat down. _//I only have the power you choose to give me. Do you want me telling you what to do?//_

Schuldig looked down. _//I chose to give power to Brad. He chooses to give it to you. I go where he goes.//_

 _//But you're not happy about it. I don't want you grudgingly.//_ Nagi sighed and leaned back. _//It may simply be that we're both fucking him. You can play or not. I recognize your claim on him.//_

"I need someone to--" Schuldig swallowed heavily. "--to tell me what to do. What not to do more like. If it can't be him, it might as well be you. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather, and this way, I can keep him, more or less. I definitely want that." _//At least I like you.//_

 _From him, that’s practically a declaration of love._ Nagi considered that. He looked at Crawford who didn't seem to be listening at all. _He's deep in his own head. And he doesn't get any say in this part._ "I can tell you what to do without sex coming into it. Not all submission has to be sexual." _//You can still fuck him or have him fuck you. I don't mind. That part is between the two of you.//_ He studied Schuldig's face and posture.

Schuldig didn't look up, and he didn't say anything.

Nagi waited and hoped. He wasn’t sure what else he could offer.

Schuldig folded himself to his knees. "On those terms." He looked up at Nagi and nodded. "On those terms." _//There can be sex sometimes but only sometimes. When we both want it, not just when you want it. I get to say no.//_

"On those terms," Nagi agreed. _//Do you want it tonight? With him or with me or with both of us? Do any of the scenarios I suggested to him appeal to you?//_

_//I told you before-- I want to get off. One way or another.//_

Nagi waved two fingers toward Crawford. "Do what you like." _//That includes the drugs if you want them. I won't let you damage him permanently.//_

Schuldig's breath hissed between his teeth.

 _He hears the promise, and he… He trusts me for that._ The idea warmed Nagi in a completely different way than his lust did. "Crawford--" Nagi hesitated for just a fraction of a second. "Brad." He put a command into that. "Look at me."

Crawford looked up at Nagi. He blinked. He started to lower his eyes again, but Nagi shook his head. Crawford froze.

"Schuldig wants to fuck you. I've decided to let him. That doesn't let you off the hook for satisfying me later. You will do that even if he's driven you to exhaustion. I think you'll find that there's always, always, more that you can give."

Crawford swallowed visibly. His fingers plucked at the carpet.

 _There's enough of him left to be afraid. Good._ Nagi wanted to touch Crawford, but he thought that would weaken his position.

Schuldig stood up and started to strip. He seemed to be deliberately making noise.

Crawford's shoulders twitched, but he didn't look away from Nagi's face.

Nagi smiled. "I like the idea of watching people fuck you. You'll do that, won't you?"

Crawford nodded once, just a jerk of his head.

Nagi was hard again. He thought it didn't show. He hoped it didn't show. He didn't want Crawford to think he had that much power over Nagi. _Even if he is hot beyond my fantasies when he actually surrenders._

Schuldig walked over to where Nagi had left the open suitcase of drugs. He looked at the contents and hesitated, hand raised.

_//None of those will do any permanent damage.//_

“I know.” Schuldig still hesitated. _//Do you plan to take him out later?//_

_//That depends. How much would he notice? If he's not going to care, I don't see a point in bothering.//_

Schuldig laughed, then shrugged, and selected a vial. _//It would work better with a longer time for… anticipation.//_ There was a brief catch in his mental voice before he went on, _//I’d rather not, really. If that matters.//_ "Skepleron," he said out loud. "You remember what that feels like, Brad, don't you?" It was almost a croon.

Crawford made a strangled sound of protest. He leaned away from Schuldig.

"Brad." Nagi didn't raise his voice. _//If you’d rather not, we don’t have to. Not this time.//_

Crawford froze.

 _Good._ "Do I have to hold you down while Schuldig enjoys himself? I will because I've promised him he can, but it will... annoy me."

Crawford shrank down.

 _//He hates this one. Craves it, too.//_ Schuldig's mental voice was conversational. _//The elders were particularly fond of it. It saved them a lot of work when it came to inflicting pain, and we could go right back out on jobs after it wore off.//_

Nagi nodded and tried not to let himself get angry at the long dead elders. He didn’t so much care about the building they were in or the other people who lived there, but it would be inconvenient and very cold if he lost his temper. _Especially with Crawford and Schuldig both naked._

He knew skepleron; that was more neutral as mental topics went. He knew every drug in the case. _Intensified sensation. Even the smallest thing hurts. I will have to remember that Crawford-- Brad-- hates that one._ Nagi believed Schuldig that, in this case, ‘hates’ was synonymous with ‘wants desperately.’ _I’ll find out._ He was only mildly curious, but he asked, _//How badly do you plan to hurt him?//_

"I don't know." Schuldig had the needle ready. _//He hates being held down telekinetically, too. He hates all sorts of things that will probably appeal to you.//_ He sounded as if the idea pleased him.

"Give him your neck," Nagi told Crawford, and Crawford leaned his head to one side, exposing his neck. Nagi’s breath came a little faster as he watched, but he thought neither of the others noticed.

Schuldig wiped an alcohol swab over Crawford's neck then gave him the injection.

Crawford flinched a little as the needle went in. He kept his eyes on Nagi's face.

Nagi caressed the side of Crawford's face telekinetically. He thought about venturing further but decided that his own time to play would come after Schuldig's.

Crawford looked at the floor again when Schuldig was done. This time, Nagi didn't demand that he look up.

"No matter what Schuldig does," Nagi said, "you are not to come. I don't know that I'll allow you to come tonight at all. I don't think you deserve it." He flicked a telekinetic blow against Crawford's cock, just hard enough to hurt.

Crawford flinched and whimpered.

 _Are you thinking about how much that will hurt if I do it again in ten minutes?_ Nagi shifted in his seat. _Do I want to hear you scream? Yes. Definitely. I hope the soundproofing in here is as good as you promised me it was, Crawford._ "Have you changed your mind, Brad?" He smiled, baring his teeth. "Schuldig might listen. He wants to fuck you, but he might listen."

Crawford darted a glance at Schuldig.

Schuldig grasped his cock and started stroking himself to erection. "He hasn't changed his mind. He hates it, and he's enjoying it, and he hates that he enjoys it, that he wants it." He walked over and buried a hand in Crawford's hair, grasping and pulling. "All he really wants is never to be able to say no, the way he could never say no before." He rubbed his crotch against Crawford's face. "He trusts you for that, trusts you to break him so that the only decision he has to make is what will best serve you." He leaned down and spoke into Crawford's ear. His words were loud enough that Nagi could hear them clearly. "And even if you had changed your mind, it wouldn't matter. I'm going to fuck you. Nagi said I could, and what you want doesn't matter."

 _Does it matter? Yes. Yes, it does. I wouldn't stop Schuldig, but I wouldn't go beyond that, frustrating as that would be. But, if Schuldig's right, there will come a time when Crawford can't say no, can't tell me what he wants, and that will come soon._ Nagi thought he should feel more disturbed by the thought than he did. _It's Crawford. He must have known, must have planned on it. But will I enjoy it nearly as much if he's... not Crawford any more?_

 _//For everyone but you, he'll be the same.//_ Schuldig sounded certain. _//He's not giving that up, just... subordinating it to you.//_ He ran his hand along Crawford's back.

Crawford shivered.

"I hope you're still loose, Brad," Schuldig said. "I don't want to fuck around with stretching you out." _//He is wondering why you want him to fail. I'm wondering, too.//_

 _//Want him to fail?//_ Nagi raised his eyebrows.

_//The drug. He won't be able to help coming, probably more than once. It'll hurt like hell when he does, but he won't have a choice. Even if I'm quick about it, which I don't plan to be, a little prostate stimulation is all it will take. He couldn't come from a touch on his dick; that would hurt too much, but this...//_

_//I didn't know. I've never used skepleron for anything but interrogations.//_ Nagi swallowed hard. _I can't go back on it now. I can't give him a centimeter._

Schuldig urged Crawford onto his hands and knees. _//Well, you better think about it. He expects to be punished. He's looking forward to it, and he's terrified.//_ He reached around and took hold of Crawford's cock. He squeezed, clenching his fist tight.

Crawford pushed himself up and back-- Nagi thought he was trying to escape-- but Schuldig threw his weight on top of Crawford, forcing him down again. Crawford's eyes were wide with pain. Judging by the sounds coming from behind the gag, he was trying to scream.

Nagi shifted in his chair again. _Not kind but also not permanently damaging. I don't need to intervene._ He wanted to rub his cock, but he didn't want Crawford to know this was getting to him.

Schuldig eased his grip as Crawford went still under him. He bit Crawford's shoulder then raised his head so that he was looking Nagi in the eyes. "Tasty."

 _And I'm not sure if he means me or Crawford._ Nagi considered trying to keep Schuldig out of his head, but he doubted he could do it.

 _//I like it better when you don’t try.//_ Schuldig ran his free hand along Crawford's side. He stroked once then scraped his fingernails over Crawford's skin.

Crawford flinched away from the touch then stilled.

Nagi wished he could see Crawford's face. _How much does that hurt? Has the drug taken hold yet?_

 _//He's really starting to feel it.//_ Schuldig straightened. He gripped Crawford's hair and pulled him up until his back leaned against Schuldig's chest. "Keep your eyes on Nagi. He wants to see."

Crawford's face was streaked with tears. At Schuldig's words, he opened his eyes and looked in Nagi's general direction.

"You asked for this, Brad," Nagi said. "Don't forget that. You said 'anything.' We're holding you to that." _//Is he having trouble breathing?//_

_//Not enough to worry about. Of course, if we take the gag out, he will beg. He won't really want mercy, but he'll ask for it. If you give it, he'll think you can't hold him.//_

Nagi wasn't sure he entirely liked that. _//Consent matters.//_

 _//He gave it. He doesn't want to be able to go back on that even when it would be easier.//_ Schuldig released his grip on Crawford's cock and used both hands to begin to unfasten the gag.

Crawford looked relieved to have the pain ease, but he pulled his head away from Schuldig's hands. He shook his head.

"You don't get to decide that," Nagi told him. Nagi pushed Crawford's head back within easy reach of Schuldig's hands and held it still. "And I do want to see your face. I want to hear you scream. It doesn't matter who's fucking you. I'm your master."

Crawford shuddered then nodded. He didn't fight Nagi's hold.

Schuldig undid the gag and pulled it out of Crawford's mouth. He tossed it to one side.

Nagi caught it telekinetically without even thinking about it. He brought it to his hand, looked it over, and set it down with the rest of his equipment. "Say thank you to Schuldig."

Crawford seemed to choke on the words. "Thank you."

"Ask him to fuck you."

Crawford licked his lips. "Please--" He swallowed hard. The words came out at the barest whisper. "Please fuck me, Schuldig."

Schuldig pinched Crawford's nipples, making him squirm and whimper. "Eventually," he said. "Ask me to hurt you."

Crawford's eyes widened. He opened his mouth then closed it. He kept his eyes fixed on Nagi.

"It's what you want, isn't it?" Nagi smiled, knowing that Crawford wouldn't find the expression reassuring. He telekinetically stroked Crawford's face and was pleased to see him shiver.

Crawford lowered his eyes. He sobbed.

"You're being very good, Brad. Mostly." _Is there any way I could touch him now that wouldn't hurt?_ "You just have to say it, and it will happen."

"Please--" Crawford writhed under Schuldig's hands. "I don't want--"

"But you do." Schuldig nipped at Crawford's ear. "You can't lie to me. You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me."

"Say it," Nagi ordered.

Crawford whined with pain.

_But his hands are free, and he hasn't tried, not even once, to stop Schuldig._

Crawford's breath was coming in pants. "Please, Schuldig--" He seemed to have trouble getting the words out. He closed his eyes. "Please, Schuldig, hurt me." He sagged forward.

Schuldig's hands wandered over Crawford's torso. "As you wish." He shifted behind Crawford, trying to get Crawford's ass where he wanted it.

Nagi leaned forward. "Look at me, Brad."

Crawford raised his head. His eyes locked on Nagi's. Then he choked on a scream as Schuldig forced his cock into Crawford's ass. Crawford rocked forward under the force of it, catching himself on his hands. He pulled his hands up, for just a moment, as if the floor had scalded him but had to use them again to catch and brace himself. After that, he kept his palms flat, supporting his weight, but his fingers lifted and dropped almost imperceptibly, over and over.

Nagi made himself ignore his own arousal so that he could study Crawford’s responses as Schuldig fucked him. Partly, he wanted to study the effects of the drug for future reference, and partly, he wanted to note what things made Crawford react most powerfully. _Maybe Schuldig will be willing to draw me a diagram. With annotations._ He almost laughed at the thought but suppressed it because he thought it might ruin the mood.

Schuldig’s prediction that Crawford would come early on proved accurate. The scream that went with that seemed to shatter rather than end. The desperation on Crawford’s face as he started to beg coiled itself in Nagi’s belly as a deep desire to see this again. _To enjoy this without stopping._ He knew he’d get bored with that, but in the moment, he couldn’t imagine it. He allowed himself a telekinetic touch on his cock, a tease more than anything. He wanted to come, but he also wanted to see Crawford breaking in obedience to Nagi’s will. _And fuck him after that, when he thinks he can’t possibly take more._

Schuldig’s weird combination of vicious satisfaction at the current situation and tenderness for Crawford in the abstract leaked through the mental link he had with Nagi.

 _I suppose keeping it going is habit. Do I actually want that during… this?_ Psychic powers, apart from his own telekinesis, hadn’t been a part of sex for Nagi before. _Which I maybe should have realized was weird. Schuldig not keeping tabs on me-- and humiliating me over it-- when I was fifteen and masturbating really was… out of character. Which means that they were--_ His lips curled in disgust. _\--grooming me._ He didn’t like it, mostly because of the implied loss of independence, but he couldn’t quite find it in himself to mind much beyond that. _Or to pretend I didn’t guess earlier. I just didn’t want the… distraction. Or to lose this._

 _It’s just Crawford. Did he-- Did he shape me so that I’d accept it without caring?_ The question felt distant, something that didn’t actually affect him. _Or did he choose me to begin with because I wouldn’t care? He could have had a different telekinetic if he’d wanted._ Nagi wondered if Crawford expected him to figure that part out or if it mattered at all. _I might not have had Schwarz._ That part hurt as much as the thought of a world without Schuldig and Crawford. He recognized that most people would think he ought to be upset. _Most people haven’t lived my life._

Nagi met Schuldig’s eyes and smiled.

Echoes of Schuldig’s orgasm reverberated through the mental link, and Nagi couldn’t quite swallow a gasp. For almost a minute, the only sound was Crawford’s sobs. Schuldig sighed and let his head rest on Crawford’s back. His hands started moving much more gently over Crawford’s body than they had before.

“That was pretty damned sweet, Brad.” Schuldig still sounded a little breathless, but affection was clear in his voice.

Nagi could tell from Crawford’s face and body language that even those light touches hurt. _And he’s looking at me like my opinion is the one that actually matters._ Nagi smiled, letting it be approving and almost gentle. “You didn’t fight or try to escape.” Nagi stood and walked over to where Crawford and Schuldig were. He went down on one knee, put a hand under Crawford’s chin, and kissed him deeply.

When Nagi pulled back, he met Crawford’s eyes. “Part of me really wants to see how far I can go before you say no.” He let amusement into that.

 _//He doesn’t want to be able to say no.//_ There was urgent reminder in Schuldig’s mental voice.

 _//I know. Hush.//_ Nagi ran his thumb over Crawford’s lips. “You gave that up tonight. I’ll ask again, sometimes, but mostly I won’t bother. Because it won’t matter.” He used his power to hold Crawford’s lips closed and pinched the man’s nose with his fingers. He held both long enough to see terror starting to rise on Crawford’s face as he realized that Nagi actually might hold him to passing out. 

“I could,” Nagi said softly. “You never taught me to be kind.” He felt the power of it as if it were wind when he was standing somewhere high, lifting him above everything. _Like I could make anything happen. Anything at all. I want that._ He let go of Crawford’s nose and rose to his feet. “I want your mouth now. How well you do will determine how long your punishment for coming goes on.”

Crawford coughed as he sucked in air.

 _//You can keep playing with him while he sucks me off,//_ Nagi told Schuldig. Part of him knew that that might be dangerous if Schuldig startled Crawford, but he mostly didn’t care. The idea of Crawford trying to please him while experiencing intense pain was incredibly hot.

The reality was almost as good as the fantasy, and Nagi knew he’d want to do this again. He sat while Crawford blew him because he didn’t want to risk his knees giving out.

Crawford was beyond careful not to let his teeth touch Nagi’s cock. He started off by taking just the tip between his lips and teasing it with his tongue. He made small, sharp noises in response to whatever Schuldig was doing, and his face was wet with tears. His flinches didn’t affect what his mouth and tongue were doing.

 _I’d almost rather--_ Nagi lost the thread of that thought as Crawford took him deep. He wrapped his fingers in Crawford’s hair.

Crawford shuddered and made a sound that might have been a scream if his throat hadn’t been occupied. In the moments right after, his mouth and throat worked in ways that Nagi was sure weren’t voluntary but were so very good that Nagi knew he needed them to happen again. _And to keep happening._

Nagi wasn’t sure, after, how long he lasted, but what finally brought him to orgasm was the realization that, while Crawford wanted to feel like he was being forced, Crawford had put himself at Nagi’s non-existent mercy. In that moment, Nagi felt as if his mind was expanding to encompass the universe. “Fuck.” It came out as the barest whisper as he regained his sense of self. He kept Crawford’s face pressed into his groin for several seconds longer just so that he could feel the man crying and shuddering. “We’ll be using skepleron again.” He let his satisfaction show in his voice. “Not always. That would be boring, but…” He stroked Crawford’s head.

Nagi tried to decide whether or not he’d be able to get it up again soon enough to matter. _Probably not._ The strength of his regret surprised him. _It's only sex._

 _//You'll have other chances.//_ Schuldig's mental voice was surprisingly gentle. _//And he did… select for this. You being powerful was a bonus, but we'd have managed better without that than without this.//_

Nagi could hear doubt in Schuldig's last sentence. _We'd all have died before getting here._

Schuldig shrugged. “Blaze of glory.”

Nagi decided not to answer that. He traced the edge of Crawford's ear, enjoying the flinches and the tremors the contact provoked. “You've mostly been obedient, Brad. I'm pleased by that, and I'm sure you'll do better next time.” _//Are you going to want... more? Right now, I mean. I don't object, but I think the punishment will wreck him.//_

 _//I always want more. That's why he can't trust me.//_ Schuldig's eyes met Nagi’s. _//I can judge when to stop, and I can tell you if you ask, but I can't-- I can’t actually stop. Not reliably. Not unless someone tells me to.//_

“I know.” Nagi did. _//We'll talk. Is he up to this?//_ He pinched Crawford's earlobe and got an answering sound of pain.

_//He's been hurt worse.//_

_//That's not what I asked. And… Schuldig, I'm not the only one who's gotten older. When it's all three of us, it's not just mental damage I need you to watch for.//_

Schuldig's expression told Nagi that he wasn't happy with that idea.

 _Which is why he needs me to be in charge._ Nagi sighed. _//I'm going to demand that he walk. Can he? If it's likely he can't-- Well, I'll need a different strategy.//_

“He can.” Schuldig put a vicious twist into the words. “He's Brad Crawford. He can do anything.”

Crawford pressed a little harder against Nagi's leg and made a small, whimpering noise.

Nagi was almost certain that Crawford was testing for weakness rather than looking for protection, so he pushed Crawford back on his ass and said, “It doesn't work that way.”

Schuldig put his arms around Crawford.

Nagi suspected, based on Schuldig's facial expressions, that the two men were talking telepathically. He wasn't sure if that was something he should allow. _Or if I just need to admit that I can't stop it._

After almost a minute, Schuldig helped Crawford to his feet.

Crawford kept his eyes on the floor. “Herr Naoe,” he said in German. “I serve.”

 _Of course, German would be Crawford's language for surrender._ Nagi couldn't quite suppress a moment of desperate sadness. _//Is it all because of… them?//_ He hoped it wasn't because that would give the whole thing a bitterness that would taint every moment.

“No.” Schuldig sounded certain. _//Later.//_

“Pick a butt plug. Big enough that he can't possibly forget it's there.” _//One that he thinks won't damage him but that he really doesn't want.//_ Nagi used telekinesis to lift the gag he'd set aside earlier. “I would prefer not to hear you for the next little while.”

Crawford fumbled with the gag, more, Nagi suspected, from the pain of touching it than from either exhaustion or an effort to delay punishment.

_//If you do get hard again from this, I'll… I will.//_

_//We probably won’t have time, but I wouldn't mind. If you’re willing.//_ Nagi let his mind wander to the possibilities of sex with Schuldig.

The butt plug was one of the longer options from Nagi's collection. It had a brutally wide bulge just above the notch but was otherwise relatively thin. _Getting it in will hurt like hell under the circumstances._

 _//Getting it out, too.//_ Schuldig sounded pleased. His face and body language echoed that pleasure as he bent Crawford over the table and worked the plug into his ass.

Crawford braced himself with his hands. The gag blocked whatever words he might have had. His eyes were wide with the pain as he turned his head to look at Nagi.

Nagi smiled and was pleased to see relief on Crawford’s face. _He knows it won’t make things better, but he wants me to be pleased. Good._ Once the plug was fully seated, Schuldig stepped back, and Nagi took a minute or two to touch Crawford’s body. He kept the contact firm and almost continuous because he had more interest in exploration than in producing any specific sensations.

Crawford made small sounds of pain that were just audible. He shuddered and briefly pulled away, but he returned to his former position before Nagi said anything or took any action at all. He pressed himself against Nagi’s hands for several seconds then raised his head to look directly at Nagi’s face.

Nagi made a soothing sound. “That’s good, Brad.” He put approval into the words. He wasn’t ready for another round, but he really, really wanted to be. Possessiveness and desire coiled in his belly. His breath hissed between his lips.

Crawford almost smiled.

****

Crawford wasn’t smiling ten minutes later when Nagi left him kneeling in the shower with the water icy and the spray set as sharp and hard as Nagi could get it.

 _//Pay attention to him, Schuldig. I don’t want to leave him too long, and I don’t know how long he can handle the cold.//_ Nagi set a timer for fifteen minutes, the absolute longest he was willing to leave Crawford like that.

“He’s not bound,” Schuldig said. “It’s up to him, too.” His expression told Nagi that Schuldig didn’t believe it for moment.

Nagi poured them both drinks. “He doesn’t have the judgment right now.” _//I know you’d like him to, but we both know now that he doesn’t. If he did, he could work with anyone.//_ He offered Schuldig a glass.

Schuldig looked at it and said, “I shouldn’t.”

Nagi blinked.

Schuldig’s lips twisted. “I can stop _that_ , but not-- Well, better be a drunk than to kill him, so I wish it were the other way around.”

Nagi set down the decanter and put a hand on Schuldig’s shoulder. He squeezed lightly. “Is another drink likely to make you attack me?” He was almost certain that it wouldn’t. _//I will need to know anything that might.//_

_//Just someone else’s fear or pain. That’s what I can’t resist. They… took that from me when they started digging into my psyche. Then they gave Brad the leash, after. His tendencies and mine were supposed to… Well, we knew we’d kill each other without someone else. They wanted that so we wouldn’t rebel.//_

Nagi sipped from his glass. “And that worked ever so well.” _//I’m a little surprised you trust me with that.//_

Schuldig laughed. “We know you.” He picked up his glass and looked at the contents. “If you hadn’t-- After Tot, Brad wasn’t sure you could do it, not any more.”

 _Because she taught me kindness._ “If she’d actually died, I’d have killed him eventually. Not then, but eventually.” _//I couldn’t do… what you’re asking without having loved her.//_

“I know.” _//He doesn’t get that. He knows you’d have killed him; he doesn’t understand the other part.//_ “What does she think? Of this, I mean.”

“It’s hard to tell.” Nagi really didn’t want to talk about Tot. _Not tonight._ “She knows. The same as I know what she does. We’re that honest.” It took most of his control not to down the contents of his glass. When he looked at Schuldig, he saw that Schuldig was fishing. _Probably for something specific._ He sighed. “As long as we’re still technically together, I can protect her from my employer. He was there that night, and he’s very curious about how she survived.” _//And he doesn’t believe it was something I did.//_ Nagi wasn’t entirely sure whether he’d been responsible or whether it was something about Tot, possibly something her adoptive father had done to her.

“Ah. You feel responsible.” Schuldig sounded beyond bitter.

Nagi pretended not to notice. “I take care of my own.” _//She’s my friend, Schuldig. I can have more than one.//_ “Will Crawford-- Brad-- want aftercare? From me, I mean. I’m sure he’ll want you.” Schuldig’s eyes widened just enough that Nagi felt he had to respond. “I’m not an utter asshole, Schuldig. I’m not sure why the two of you would want me to be.”

Schuldig’s hand shook just a little as he set his glass down. “Brad’s trying to recreate the past. I don’t think it occurred to him that he… might not need that exactly.”

Nagi sighed. “Pull out the electric blanket. I want the bed warm. I can do a bit that way, but there’s a pretty hefty risk that I’ll char the sheets.” He allowed himself a little more alcohol. “I’ll stay this time. If it’s not what he wants--” _What he needs._ “--I’ll do things differently next time.”

Schuldig got the blanket. He didn’t say anything while he was spreading it, not until some seconds after he’d plugged it in and turned it on. He ran his hands over the blanket. “Good. It still works.” He kept his eyes on the bed and his back to Nagi as he said, “It’s not because of them that he wants this. It’s just-- Without them, it would be something he’d do from time to time. For fun, I guess. It wouldn’t be so… big. He’d be able to be _safe_ about it. I’d be able to--” Schuldig’s shoulders shook.

For a moment, Nagi wondered if he was being played. Then he realized it didn’t matter. Knowing what he knew, he couldn’t walk away. _Not even if Schuldig is a manipulative fuck on the same level as Brad._ He closed his eyes briefly as he realized that calling the man ‘Brad’ instead of ‘Crawford’ in his thoughts represented a transition. _An irrevocable step._ It wasn’t, not really. _I choose it to be. I want them. They need me._

Schuldig still didn’t turn. _//He’s starting not to feel it, not to feel anything.//_

“Right.” Nagi cleared his throat. “Bring me towels. I want him dry before we come back here.” _//No more than five minutes.//_ He walked out of the room.

Nagi sent his telekinesis ahead of himself and turned off the water. Then, as an afterthought, he turned off the alarm he’d set. He doubted there had been more than a minute or two left on it. He already had two towels on a shelf near the shower, but he’d thought that Schuldig needed those few minutes alone. 

“Brad,” he said, as he opened the door. Once he saw Brad, it was clear that the man was only barely with him. 

Brad was conscious, but his awareness seemed to be focused inward.

 _Good._ Nagi nodded. He telekinetically grabbed a towel. It draped itself over Brad’s back as Nagi bent to start drying him. Because Nagi was pretty sure that Brad wasn’t going to register it yet, Nagi worked the towel briskly over Brad’s skin. _Just as well. Blotting wouldn’t work nearly as well._ He started talking, just a gentle stream of trivialities about a movie he’d seen recently.

As Nagi talked and carefully shifted Brad around to get him somewhat dry, he could tell that the other man was starting to come back to him. Nagi tossed aside the damp towel and summoned the second dry one to his hand. Once he had it, he used his power to lift Brad out of the shower and to set him down on the bathmat. He removed the gag but decided to leave the butt plug where it was.

Brad made an incoherent sound that Nagi thought might have been meant to be a word.

Then Schuldig came in with several more towels. Nagi let him help dry Brad until, after about five more minutes, Nagi judged that it was time to move him.

“I’ll carry him,” Nagi told Schuldig. “You open the doors.”

Getting Brad into bed went smoothly. Nagi had Schuldig climb in first so that Nagi could set Brad down in his arms. _Because, whatever messed up feelings Brad has about me, he genuinely loves Schuldig._ After that, Nagi hesitated. He wasn’t going to climb into bed while partially dressed in wet clothing, but the whole thing with Brad was sufficiently outside of his experience-- _Sufficiently weird._ \--that he wasn’t quite sure what he ought to do.

Schuldig raised his head. _//There are sweats in the right, middle drawer. Probably too long, but it shouldn’t matter for tonight.//_

Nagi nodded and retrieved a pair of navy blue sweatpants. Then he went through the apartment, turned off the lights, and made sure the door was locked. He draped his damp trousers on a chair in the living room and retrieved his phone. He set an alarm for early enough that he could shower, get to work, and change into the spare clothes he kept there. _Good thing the boss arrives late._

When he got back to the bedroom, Nagi took a moment to watch Brad and Schuldig.

Brad had to be hurting from the skepleron, but he made no move to shift away from Schuldig. He did, however, raise his head to look at Nagi.

“Does he need anything?” Nagi asked Schuldig softly. “I’d rather get anything necessary before I lie down.”

Brad worked his jaw and seemed about to say something but stopped when Schuldig said, “No, Brad. It’s okay.” _//He really can’t eat until the drug’s completely out of his system, but there’s bottled water in the fridge. I should have thought.//_

So Nagi took one more trip out before he came to bed. He could have opened the refrigerator from the bedroom, but finding the right bottle would have been challenging. _I’d have ended up with teriyaki or something else vaguely the right shape, and I’d have dumped everything else on the floor. Next time, I’ll make sure the water’s at the front so that I can get it more easily._

He stopped for a moment outside the bedroom. _Next time._ He took a couple of deep breaths as that really hit him.

Nagi used his power to pass the water to Schuldig before he climbed in next to Brad. He laid a tentative hand on Brad’s back. _Still more chilled than I like._ He pulled the blankets up and moved in until his chest was touching Brad’s back. _//If I do that again, Schuldig, we’ll want a minute or two less.//_ He wasn’t sure if he’d misjudged the effect of the skepleron or if he’d misjudged Brad’s tolerance for cold. He sighed and let his head rest against Brad’s shoulder. _//Was it enough?//_

 _//I waited until it was.//_ Schuldig managed to sound both offended and apologetic. _//I thought you wanted that.//_

Nagi had, so, rather than answering, he said, _//Is he okay with me here?//_ Nagi didn’t much want to leave. _//I could sleep on the couch.//_

_//He’s sort of vaguely surprised, but he’s not afraid. I’m not sure he’s really thought it through yet.//_

Nagi heard Schuldig shift in bed.

 _//He still wants… what he did tonight. What you did. What we did. He doesn’t_ not _want you here if that makes sense.//_ Schuldig sighed audibly. _//He trusts you even now.//_

Nagi stayed awake until he was sure that both Brad and Schuldig were asleep. Even after that, sleep eluded him for a while as he turned things over in his mind and tried to make up his mind what came next and what would happen long term. Finally, he made himself stop. _It’s enough to know that this is going to be really fucking complicated and that we’ll figure it out somehow. I want them; they want me. They’re both fucked up enough to make Mamoru and his old buddies look sane. No. Let it go._

 _At least, I won’t have to lie to them about work._ That barrier and the resulting risks had made Nagi pull back from potential relationships repeatedly.

After that, he slept until his alarm.


End file.
